Living in a world where there is time to relish the sublime, a place where the scales have tipped to love.
People or Place?
I’m dating someone categorically and diametrically different from me. Apart from the fact that he is male, older, from another country, and a different family, those things are basic - he just really is completely different.
With this, I am learning that when you are letting someone come into your life in a different way, there is this temptation to manufacture common ground, to lay aside or slightly tweak things about yourself in an effort to find that beautiful equilibrium of simpacity that we mistakenly believe might make for a love that in turn makes history.
I disagree. I’m new in this sphere of romantic relationships, but despite my limited experience, I’m already feeling the relentless drive of God’s hand of love on me to shamelessly be my unedited self.
We talk about maintaining the mystery, and believe me, I plan on always enjoying mystery and nurturing fun as much as possible. But the more I am myself, different, strange, even quirky - dare I use that word, it sounds so unattractive….the more I see in myself a capacity for connection.
The more I am myself, sometimes, I’ll admit, with a devil-may-care bravado, the more engaged I am able to become.
This is elementary. We all talk about the importance of being ourselves when in relationship. But do the relationships in your life actually challenge you to assert as much of the revelation God has given you about how to do life with Him to do it well as possible?
I am finding that unless I answer that challenge, everything suffers. The beauty of this is that the differences in this man that are challenging me to be ME, lead in to the core of the things that are actually the same about the two of us.
Well, really just one thing, an insatiable desire for God, and a sense of His hand on this. Its strange but, sometimes that can be enough to start something potentially inspired. Either way, as my heart winds in to the core of the basic ingredients for relationship, I am finding day by day that the decisions to give up countries, or wait to enjoy places in the world that I had previously thought integral to my future happiness, come easily.
After all, what makes for the health of my soul is my internal environment, while my external environment can kill my soul, permanently wound my spirit, and tear down my body. This may sound extreme, but I have seen it so many times. As I write this, I am wonderstruck, happy to see God’s hand woo me to choosing people over place, connection over adventure, and community over position. The possibilities of knowing someone are ones I am just beginning to fathom. The intense adventure of connection is one that is never-ending, and the sweet and zesty winds that blow through a lifestyle based on community are valuable in a way I am just beginning to understand.
To successfully be me, I need people, people that are mine - these being so much better than any place I can dream of. Not designed for mere geographical location, I was created for fellowship
Challenged. In eden,
p.s. please note that the above was written from a place of having had to actually think through and decide between a permanent and grand new adventure in London or people, relationship, and community in Redding, California.